26 October

- 2019 -

Personal Journal...

Synopsis: Thinking of romantic relationships shifting in my life and not coming to fruition as I would like were making me feel sad and lonely. In observing the circumstances though I realized two things: 1) exciting synchronicities that help me build my trust in a life process/pathway...to trust that I'm connected and not alone in the world. 2) I got the idea that it's very important to work this "loneliness" moment into the show...it's ultimately about wanting to be free and follow desire...so loneliness is a good thing to overcome to feel and to be in relations in the world.
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In the daily newspaper of Jorge’s life, there is regularly printed the section on being single, having never had a boyfriend really, always feeling alone. From 2013 until recently (over 6 years), this section was dominated by reporting on developments with a guy named Ahmed.

Ahmed and Jorge are in love

Ahmed and Jorge text each other with lovely messages daily

Jorge visits Cairo and establishes deep ties with Ahmed.

Ahmed moves to Amsterdam. Can a relationship finally happen?

Jorge jealous and insecure. Ahmed lives with Amsterdam boyfriend in Amsterdam.

Jorge cuts communication. Both devastated. Who more?

Jorge & Ahmed: Peace talks resume for the third time

Number 5! Jorge breaks up.

Finally in 2019 after 6 months of having ended things, Jorge proposed for himself to just be friends with Ahmed. Ahmed accepted.

Now in the new developments

Transference of issues from Ahmed to Alessandro…emotions, projections, expectations, …
I wrote the text which is very me, but Ale seems to see things as not at issue actually…exposing my own patterns.

I did a quick check in with “dear great spirit” I feel alone. Please intensify these feelings. I tried feeling super alone.

I got an idea for the piece that I wrote…to include this aloneness moment. I returned to sitting. Looked out the window to the glowing green leaves and cried more…feeling connection to the aloneness but mostly to the connectedness. A bird then flew onto the windowsill…I was astonished and welcomed the sign. A dead relative? A sign from the universe? A sign from a specific entity from my support group? Doesn’t matter, it all works together anyways.

I wanted to write these synchronicities down.
--Ahmed in town
-Ahmed not wanting to have sex with me…me feeling sad then getting sick (because of that)
-Ale bringing me soup
-me confused and sad about not so much love from Ale
-Ale bringing me Bacon book for a moment…me reading my heady text to get clear…him listening and understanding and realizing my own patterns are not THE reality or even how he sees things
-me with spirit…connect, alone cry, IDEA for piece, reconnect, leave and bird signs…magic!

Macumba

Updates on the Stage Design:

The general idea has been to have the audience all around similar to the 301. However, a circle did not feel so interesting. Having two arcs relating to each other, or a more informal in-the-round situation would fit more the idea of a world and people in a world...as opposed to the typical 4th wall frontal scenario.