- 2019 -

Feminine

soft, spirals, releasing weight

completely flowing in directionality…navigating directions is only through my body using it’s motor skills to keep a flow (to let me run, pivot, use momentum, etc)

3:25 is a nice baby swing with pointed foot cradle
holding space like a seaweed

Joe goode/axis syllabus movement pathways

starfish rolling and splaying

afro giving hips tanzwutty…is there a question in that movement about my kundalini awakening?

Pina dancing

walking with soft arms floating like wispy feelers

1 October

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Materializing

6 October

Masculine

karate is good as it’s sharp and direct.

turning or spinning deletes the masculine power or erases it (the movement or the holding and claiming of space…it’s reactive rather than active).

qi breaths work of course

if I posture or claim space with arm or body position, then I need to hold it! I can try minimal movement so as to gather power (rather than dissipating force and losing ground)

stomping monkey dance around min. 3 is interesting…

Macho pacing brings up a hyper-masculine aggression

I could try muscle flexing…I have them but if I try so much then it could show the frailty

Connecting to earth energy

side to side spiral sways…arm circles and lateral spine undulations…softening the genders

caressing the crotch during soft hip and spine undulations…shirtless…internal process

slow entry to spiral walk —> solo procession of souls with over/under curves of earth and sky energies

check out a feet dance/conversation…highlight life of the feet as parallel characters

all fours…treating my concreteness and weight/stability of pillars…try different sculptural formations and ways to test so it reads

rolling weight points onto the ground…a journey into earth energy through different contact points.

Maybe find a dance and later slow it all the way down to try understanding the earth energy side of it…

end in crouch. crouch always good…brings to a pause in the journey.

**observation:

as I dance masculine and feminine, I first realize that I’m not exactly sure what constitutes each exactly…what are the characteristics of each energy? I latched onto the simple thought of masculine as giving or putting into space and feminine as receiving and accepting. As I danced both, I realized that I was able to better access a world of connection to each energy through certain stereotypical gender characteristics. I say this awkwardly here, but it’s because I understand that gender is a cultural construction where everyone (in the WEST) is taught their gender. To connect to each energy is to sift through and enter the messy pit or closet of gender constructions like mannerisms, tendencies, issues, body languages, etc. These cultural constructions as they manifest through me and my dancing are attached to each energy…or at least I notice the programming that has fused both together.

3 October

Note:

From "Connecting to Earth Energy" I really liked the subtle spinal undulations I was doing. As a way to focus in on movement, I could focus very specifically on the spine with it's constant ebb and flow. I connect the undulations with the yin yang process in that the beginning and end are always becoming each other...like the masculine and feminine energies.

I asked Ahmed to teach me Balidi...which is Egyptian Belly Dance. I learned that it's very much "on the toes" and there's a forthrightness in the attitude of the hips...not shy at all but assertive like playing drums.

I was asking him about the sexuality and sensuality of the dancing...I'm interested in both aspects with this dance. To bring it out specifically and not get blocked behind stereotyping...but to go deep with it and call out these aspects. I find a connection to Kundalini energy and Kundalini Yoga here...bringing up the life-force energy...but with Balidi it's social and also tied to percussion.

Just a study since Ahmed was in town, and it's playful like kids and also sexual and gay :) But also very masculine in owning the femininity. cliches, etc, but whatever...need to just dance and not judge.

Warmup loosely thinking of the child

I held leg and rolled on floor a bit…so a score of cuddling into the bed and finding nesting cuddle caves to stay asleep

I stretch/contract with whinny kid cry voice: could do a score of only this and see what it produces. Can try silent

…then I do loud deep out breath with extension…transformation to a powerful figure

6min I do ball shake…crying and fucking energy

Baby shake and fuck

Baby can be making sweet tender love to self with moments of opening up but only to come back to the internal warmth
…can sculpt each caress more so each becomes an event of sensation

Pleasure and sleep and shame and privacy can be here

3min: claw hands opening hips to Wigman symmetry and repeating some symmetrical incantations there can be a good motif

4min: Opening up to Greek god gesture arms is a welcome refresh of something new…like signs appearing from the internal universe…

5:15min: open legs genital caressing like baby

6min: a woman caressing herself seated sideways…classical image…discovering my new body

7min: getting into positions of fucking…fuck work body…hip work and functionality…sex work for global energy…sex worker for the environment

7:35: bringing in an energy cultivation machine…feels typical, but if I do it then really stick to it and let it really cultivate energy…

8:50 sink into ball cry/vibration

10:20 I thought that vibrations can stay very isolated in body parts…if all body comes in then the specificity gets dissolved and too general (i.e. 10:15…when legs and pelvis going…could be interesting to have these isolated and moving under me)

10:35…orgasm mini vibration of pelvis…nice image to hold…communicates timeless Fauno/Nijinsky

11:30 kneeled arch into flat ground chest and pelvis humping is nice and visceral

12:15 humb ground travel can be nice if sustained and a direct line communicating a direct intention

12:30-13min: freak out simmering could have gone much longer before full body explosion

13:30: freak out to a samba is nice

Samba Baby

Standing at first is good

Too much moving around on ground…but once it gets more enclosed and protective then music comes up as an onslaught

0:55: Samba demon. Bathing

1:15-1:45: reluctant kid to Balinese demon. Keep the thick pace and stretching curving limbs…tension of passion and restraint from the body

2:15: boxer listening to music in prep groove mode…good for building waiting and tension and bringing back chi

4:10: ground scuddle shake is good as a means of undercurve transport

4:50-5:10: deconstructed samba moves in uncoordinated chaos storm

5:30-5:55: hips are fun and activate lots of energy

7:20: deconstructed bird arms into sideways flight ripples…dancey but can be a good place to try figuring out for a bit…as clear material that is…invest here and see where the journey and the big attempt is

**Thoughts from Alessandro:

Self-discovery of a child is really tender and slow…because it’s all new and fresh…I don’t jump to jerking off once I’ve discovered my penis, for example…

Show is about overcoming my fear of not being accepted…to dance more fem or masculine is something that scares me…so I’m trying to own myself and let myself dance these aspects fully. To dance the monster

Focus is to dance the child…innocent and open and without preconceived ideas