- 2019 -

Reconfiguring

9 November

PRESS PLAY ABOVE for spoken reflections from the last week...

I begin to question and doubt the Fauno material as well as such explicit representations of gender stereotypes. Perhaps focusing on the Yin Yang is better than trying to be too man or woman in any dance.

I don't want to get stuck in a form, and Fauno choreography is an example of feeling stuck.

I explore different animals that are appearing in the process...as guides and ideas for developing figures and movements in the piece.

I had considered burning a bird cage to represent becoming free, but I'm too late to a) find a birdcage b) work it into the piece and c) get permission to burn it AND d) if it will work artistically even. So I begin to consider solving this wish through the choreography...perhaps working in rigidity and precision with space and body in the Journey Walk for example.

10 November

I was happy doing the run because it was the first time I exerted full energy for a sustained time...a fuller-feeling run through which is important to have a sense of energy expenditure. HOWEVER, the run didn't feel so good because I had a feeling early on that I was lost or at least the material or me wasn't grounded...there was a disconnect somehow, and Sandra mentioned this in her feedback. She said that it was very much her looking at me dance but without knowing why except just to watch. Except for the beginning (Journey Walk with Jazz) and the ending (BIrdy with water music) I was not engaging her or bringing her along to imagine or participate. With the text, I should be careful not to get too concrete...to leave it open ended so people can have their own associations. For example, when I said the word "sex", it suddenly shuts down the experience that an audience might otherwise associate to themselves.

She seemed very encouraging of me to use text but in a way that is open for the audience but also for me to be able to navigate my own way through the 3-4 bullet points. I think this sounds like a good idea and something I'm capable of.
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Afterwards, I was feeling good/high from having danced so fully. I was feeling stupid and silly, so I was singing and dancing without caring for trying to do good...I was just releasing energy. I think this second video is somehow key and crucial for breakthroughs to happen in a process. I think it was part of the development of the "all is loneliness" section that came later...