- 2019 -

Make it work...

28 November

Notes from Ingrid in the morning

On Tuesday 26.11.2019 I did a showing that failed, or felt like failure.

Wednesday I spent most of the day crying and in bed and mourning deeply the losing of a great opportunity…to show my work…but realizing that it hasn’t manifested and will be another demonstration of my inability to make work actually…just sad that it didn’t come together!

Thursday then, Ingrid came knowing that I was feeling quite down.

She had two main thoughts…

First was an observation and feedback that I’m quite radical. I quickly throw away and grab a new thing. This happened with the Brazilians, then with Zam, etc.

I told this later to Ahmed, and he said he agrees and that it’s also something that he finds disturbing.

I know this about myself, and I cultivated this from Sara Shelton Mann a bit…her way of training finite weight with energy blocks and clarity in motion. I apply this to life and moving forward…but durationality is more than in the immediate time sphere…

Second was that I try to do the hardest thing first. For example, making a piece in the round is the hardest, but it’s what I proposed. Also I show people works-in-progress a lot which is brave but also difficult because it opens the work and myself to criticism at a very vulnerable state.

So her comments were a mix of cricitism but also validation…and both were warranted somehow.

An interesting insight was how I live a life through the art. It made me think of the stories of Patty Smith or Janis Joplin and feeling close to them. I mix my love and life with the art process, so it weaves and forms and unfolds together.

 Need to Reconfigure the structure…towards the final showing

Sandra gave feedback afterwards about the major issue of gaze and having the audience be included. From those notes, I reconfigured the piece by installing resets…so the intention is that I propose different worlds to the audience, and in between I have a reset for us all to be able to go in and out and have space. This didn't happen in this video but the next one on the 29th.

Other notes from today's video:
-finding structures for freedom: cage, flying, to fly, growing pains
-rethink synchronicity of Joplin song with the trampoline jumping (in this showing I had started off with this and with a different Janis Joplin song than the usual “Try”)
-Standing after “Loneliness” was nice…as a way to get out of a dance and reconnect to the space and then go into something else
-Sandra mentioned this process of entering and then getting out of it…completely…in order to then travel into something else…so that the audience isn’t lost or lingering and can actually follow along a journey with/through me
-Maybe I wear a dance belt? I can try?
-Create different Entry Points for the materials. Come back to the space afterwards always.
-Reconfigure the whole thing so that it’s about RE-ENTERING and getting out of it again

My Plan for tomorrow then…

Reset – wind up after Birdy and unwind to let it go

Reset – labyrinth walk to exit and then reenter
--> Try Trampoline

Reset – Put Trampoline away

Reset – Sit with Audience

Reset – Put on Headphones


Should I still speak texts? Live or voice over??
-personal stories of spirits and working alone
-multiple directions and paths in life
-appearances and vanishings of presences of beings and then being alone (i.e. Zam, Janis, Alessandro, Icaro, Raquel, Zohar, Ahmed)